My father's a fucking arse.
Thank god for Dylan. I know he's 10 but seriously, he's wiser than anyone I've ever met besides Peter. It's fucking freaky in a good way. He even knows how to do first aid because he watched instructional videos. O_O. He cleaned me up and now I look fucking ugly.
And my father spilled my dinner all over the floor too. And it smelled good! Arsefucker!