Bean Treat: Gingerly pour four fluid oz of beans or something into a jug. Cry. Eat the beans from the jug and pour the rest from the can down your throat. N.B. These taste better if they belong to somebody else in your house.
Pain au Dunk: Fists of bread, rent from the loaf and dunked into anything runnier than bread. Should eat at least six of these because ... you should. Don't toast the bread. Toast is cookery.
Pain au Dunk avec Bean Treat et Fromage: This is far too complicated to explain here. But it involves using all your fingers and breathing through your nose. And to finish ... well, you are finished. It doesn't matter what you fling into your maw now. Nothing matters. But don't you feel better? Of course, you don't.
And then there's Bill Bailey's comments here:
There’s this one celebrity, Rosie O’Donnell, a talk show host, and she said this: “I don’t know anything about Afghanistan, but I know it’s full of terrorists, speaking as a mother.” So what is this "speaking as a mother" then? Is that a euphemism for "talking out of my arse"? "Suspending rational thought for a moment"? As a rational human being, Al-Qaeda are a loose association of psychopathic zealots who could be rounded up with a sustained police investigation. But speaking as a parent, they’re all eight foot tall, they’ve got lasers under their moustaches, a huge eye in their foreheads and the only way to kill them is to NUKE every country that hasn’t sent us a Christmas card in the the last 20 years!! Speaking as a mother.
Yeah...gotta say, that sounds a lot like a certain vice-presidential candidate we all know and loathe. Oy vey.