February 13th, 2007

I don't know if I am real without you

Filtered to Renee

Hey, Baby. Are you alright? It just occured to me that you might...well..not be.

I love you very much, My Gorgeous One. You can tell me anything if you need to.
  • Current Mood
    worried worried
Change is kinda curly

Filtered to Kait and Renee

Hey, Honey. First of all, I love you.

I've been wanting to speak with you for a long time. I think I've realised now where my insecurity with you stems from. We both know what set it off, and we both know I understand why that happened now completely and would never hold it against you. But the insecurity remains. I spent most of my life thinking my mother was ashamed of me. She left when I was 5. I didn't see her again really until I was 15. Not unless you count the few times I ran in to her at Evanna's house because she was visiting Evey's mum. And those times, she was usually pretty quick to get away. I felt like she was trying to hide from me. Ashamed of me. She had a new family and didn't need the worthless daughter she already had. She came to visit me when I was 15, and I never knew why. She got me a tattoo. Then I didn't see her until she invited me to stay with her in Dublin when I was 16. Then she started coming here a lot. And now it turns out that she may never have wanted to see me at all, she might have been coming here only to see Finian. So now I'm back to wondering if she's ashamed of me and only put up with me to see her boy toy.

I don't want to be something you're ashamed of. I don't want to be the thing people put up with so they can be with the person they really love. I'm sick of feeling that way. And I do. I really do.

I want to meet your father.
  • Current Mood
    determined determined
Hopeless Hearts

(no subject)

Renee, Kaitie? I have the best plans for Valentine's Day. Is it okay if I surprise you and shower you with pressies and love?! If you already had other plans, I'll save them and spring them on you when you least expect it, it's not a thing that's time sensitive!

Last gig with Spectre and Sacrifice tonight. It's weird playing in front of such huge crowds but really fun. I'm drinking lots of pineapple juice and lemon tea, though. My poor throat. But never say I don't have wail where it counts!!

I'm trying to be all positive and happy and energetic and encouraging. And I also made the house smell of cinnamon.

If anyone needs anything, just ask me.

  • Current Mood
    blank Trying