November 7th, 2006

Sunlight through Blinds


Screw this world with their otherworldly demons that fly around in the air, killing innocent people and bringing everyone else pain.

So many dead. Peter's cousin dead. She was Kat's sister. Kait's friend since primary school. Isabelle's friend. Alessa and Amanda's friend and housemate. Kali's best friend. A sweet girl.

It's not fair.

And my own girlfriend lashing out against things like me. And I know I shouldn't react, but I can't help it. I just killed a vampire. With my own hands. And...I don't know if I can do this. I should lock myself in the shed with fucking Dorian. I'm fine now. What about the next time I'm not. What if it's not a vampire I kill. What if I can't stop it? I always slip. I always will.

Marietta should have ripped me apart too. Maybe she still will. And people would be sad. They'd mourn me like Bianca and Snap and Jude who needs to fucking WAKE UP. But they'd move on. They'd be alright. And alive. And not having to deal with fucking demons flying around killing innocent whatevers.

The world sucks.

EDIT: Kait's moving home. She's moving HOME?! She doesn't trust me. She doesn't want to be around me.

It wasn't ME, goddammit!
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