Deirdre Ionúin Gallagher (deirdre_ionuin) wrote,
Deirdre Ionúin Gallagher

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Filtered to Kait and Renee

Hey, Honey. First of all, I love you.

I've been wanting to speak with you for a long time. I think I've realised now where my insecurity with you stems from. We both know what set it off, and we both know I understand why that happened now completely and would never hold it against you. But the insecurity remains. I spent most of my life thinking my mother was ashamed of me. She left when I was 5. I didn't see her again really until I was 15. Not unless you count the few times I ran in to her at Evanna's house because she was visiting Evey's mum. And those times, she was usually pretty quick to get away. I felt like she was trying to hide from me. Ashamed of me. She had a new family and didn't need the worthless daughter she already had. She came to visit me when I was 15, and I never knew why. She got me a tattoo. Then I didn't see her until she invited me to stay with her in Dublin when I was 16. Then she started coming here a lot. And now it turns out that she may never have wanted to see me at all, she might have been coming here only to see Finian. So now I'm back to wondering if she's ashamed of me and only put up with me to see her boy toy.

I don't want to be something you're ashamed of. I don't want to be the thing people put up with so they can be with the person they really love. I'm sick of feeling that way. And I do. I really do.

I want to meet your father.
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