nostalgiclike a simple question looking for an answer.
Now I am a whale, listening to some inner call,
swimming blindly to throw myself upon your shore.
What if I don't find you when I have landed?
Would you leave me here to die on your shore, stranded?
I think I know why the dog howls at the moon.
I've been waiting for you all my life,
hoping for a miracle,
I've waiting day and night, day and night.
I've been waiting for you all my life,
hoping for redemption,
I've been waiting day and night, I burn for you.
The blind bird sings inside the cage that is my heart,
the image of your face comes to me when I'm alone in the dark.
If I could give a shape to this ache that I have for you,
if I could find a voice that says the words that capture you.
I think I know why the dog howls at the moon.
Sometimes I miss Dublin. I want to go home. Despite friends and runway shows and happiness and everything. I have family there. Sure 3 of them are my annoying half siblings. But my mother is there. In all her aloof glory. I have roots there. I have grandparents that HATE me! Everyone should be around their grandparents that hate them. I've never met mine.
Then I remember her. She belongs with her family. Living without them hasn't be necessarily easy for her. I can't ask her to come to Dublin with me. I couldn't.
So I stay.
And sometimes I hate my father. Not because of what he did to me, but because of what he did to us. We were a family. He made her run. And I couldn't because I was too young.
And now I surround myself with this pseudo family, my 4 housemates.
Who am I kidding? My Pseudofamily is incredible and I should thank my lucky stars.
So...thank you.
~Deirdre
