It's my 18th birthday in 8 days. And all I can think about is how much I want to disappear. I hope going to New York in 4 days helps. I need it. I was reading back in my journal, which frankly was a very very bad idea. But I found this and now I was to kick and scream and hit everything. See, less than a month ago I was talking about how wonderful everything was? How I had everything and this year was so much better than last year?