Deirdre Ionúin Gallagher (deirdre_ionuin) wrote,
Deirdre Ionúin Gallagher
deirdre_ionuin

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Because I am trying to keep myself from staring again, I shall do this. I stole it from Avery and Jack.



1. I was born in Dublin and I lived there until about 5 years ago. I was 11 and a half when we moved.

2. After we moved to London, we lived in the suburb of Eltham. My father decided to move shortly after that, but we had to stay there until the flats he bought were renovated into one. It took about 3 years because he hired slack builders.

3. My mother ran out on my family when I was 5, leaving my father to raise me. She was a free spirit who felt that his constant working was harming her happy go lucky aura. I have NO idea why she married the bastard in the first place.

4. Apparently my parents met in University. He took her to a museum for their first date. She probably thought he was in to art, and he probably thought it made him look sophisticated.

5. My parents married when they were 19, and I was born 9 months later. Mmhmm, I was a honeymoon child. This makes my parents very young. They're only 36 and 37. Their names are Caitlin and Liam. I'm sure you can guess which is which.

6. My mam left University after I was born and only went back and finished her degree after she left my father.

7. After my mother left, my father lost the small bits of personality he once had and spent even MORE time working. He often went on business trips, leaving me with my crazy aunt and cousins.

8. He started leaving me alone after we moved to London. Though oftentimes even before that he wouldn't get home until around midnight. I learned to cook for myself when I was about 9. Before that I ate sandwiches or went hungry.

9. At the age of 9, I was also pretty much taking care of the house as well. I did the laundry, and the dishes. I didn't shop though. We had a 'maid' of sorts who did that. She pretended to do the rest. I'm a control freak and I couldn't handle someone else doing it. I think I get that from my father.

10. When I was little, I had a horse named Kidney Bean. I know, stupidest name ever, right. It wasn't my fault, he came with that name. But my after my mam left, my dad sold him.

11. I got my cat, Maeve when I was 15. I went out and decided I wanted a cat and I bought her. My father was pissed, but he hardly noticed her, so I got to keep her.

12. We moved to our renovated flat last year because it was finally done. My father spent 3 years waiting for a house to be built, and then spent a cumulative 3 weeks here before he jetted off to the US in shame.

13. He moved to the US under the guise of a promotion, but he actually only accepted the job because he hit me and he was embarassed. My father believes in being upright and he worries a lot about what other people think of him. I think the thought of being labelled a child abuser was too much for him, so he left me with the house.

14. Until he left, I spent almost a month living with my best friend, Jamie, who is my lifesaver but also not very happy with me right at this very moment.

15. I am bisexual and proud. I have a girlfriend, who is ALSO not very happy with me. She's French. And hot.

16. My mother is a photographer who also teaches it at University. I have only recently started to spend time with her again. I miss her a lot. She's the only parent I have that is actually nice. But I still don't respect her as a grown up seeing as how she left me and everything. And I partially hold her responsible for the fact that my father beat me up. Because she wasn't here to help or to stop it. Does that make me a bad person?

17. My mother had a new family after she left mine, and I have 2 half brothers and a half sister that I REALLY do not like. But it's mostly jealousy because they get her and I do not.

18. I haven't eaten in two or three days. I don't even remember. I haven't had much of an appetite for the past couple of weeks and I've lost 3 kilos. And every time I think about eating something to fix this, I get sick.

19. I think I might have a serious problem.

20. Sometimes I wish my father would just come back and hug me and say he's sorry, even after all he's done.

21. I used to try so hard to get A's that I would put studying first and everything else second. I think I did this out of an intense need to impress my father. I wanted him to say 'well done' Most he ever said was "98 is okay, but 100 is better". I wonder why I bothered.

22. The first time I met Jake, I had a HUGE crush on him until I found out he's gay with 2 boyfriends. I am a bit dense.

23. I have been playing the flute for about 7 years and I am okay at it.

24. I'm a much better singer.

25. But I don't sing in public. I don't think even Renee or Jamie have heard me sing. I am teriffied of failing even though I know I am good at it. I blame my father. Because it's easy.

26. I really love ethnic foods but for some reason, I HATE Irish food. Probably had one too many overcooked corned beef dinners at my aunt's house.

27. I am not really into sweet foods, but I really love gummi bears with sour sugar on. I am not in to chocolate or soda. Ew. Though I love HOT chocolate....

28. That being said, it's not because I like healthy things necessarily, I prefer a meat pizza to a veggie pizza, even though I love tofu. I am hard to figure out.

29. I really really hate asparagus and eggplant.

30. But I really love eggs. I don't know.

31. My actual full name on my birth certificate is Deirdre-Rose Ionuin Gallagher. I dropped the -Rose part of my first name because it bothers me. Sometimes my mam still calls me that, because it was her idea. The Deirdre part was my father's. But she stops calling me that when I insist on calling her HER first name.

32. I now live in previously mentioned renovated house with my girlfriend, my bestfriend, and Pilot and Owen, two incredibly lovely gay boys who I really like, but don't see often, considering I spend all my time hiding in my room. I hope they know I don't hate them.

33. My house is haunted by a ghost named Dennis. He's been quiet lately. Though he may be playing pranks on Renee and I just don't know. It's not like we talk or anything.

34. I have incredibly large feet, and my limbs are very long, and I am waaaay too skinny. I look quite akward.

35. I am incredibly unreasonable and I have a quick temper, but generally when someone points out that I am wrong, I see their point and do my best to change it. Unless I am right. And in that case I will tell that person where they can shove it.

36. Violence makes me nauseous, but for some reason, I can't stop being confrontational.

37. My hair is red and I love it. My eyes are blue and I hate that.

38. My parents both have red hair too, but my mam's is very pale. And my half siblings all have light brown hair.

39. I don't know why I decided that listing my family's hair colours would be interesting to you.

40. I am very dizzy, and instead of doing something to remedy this, I am sitting here NOT doing anything, so I am less dizzy. This makes sense in my head even though it's incredibly stupid.

41. I have started locking my door. I want people to leave me alone, but I don't. It's locked right now.

42. I was in the middle of redecorating my room when I lost all interest in doing anything, so my room is half blue and half this greyish colour. And I don't give a shit.

43. I really love chips, but I am not so fond of fish. I have to be in the mood.

44. I really like lattes

45. I find smoking disgusting. Really really disgusting.

46. I hardly ever drink, so when I do, I go completely tipsy and make a fool of myself.

47. In a bid to get revenge against my father, I used Clydai. We did naughty things on his bed. He was using me too. A cheap thrill. Either way, we both got what we wanted, and left relatively unscathed. Once I realised there wasn't a relationship in it, that is.

48. I love to read Shakespeare and Chaucer and anything British Lit. Which is why I DO not understand my D in a lit quiz yesterday.

49. I really hate spiders but I love snakes and I kind of want one. If I weren't afraid it would eat my kitten, that is.

50. I am afraid of those pink strawberry marshmallows that come with hot chocolate. So much, that I hardly ever order it from a cafe, I have to make it myself at home. Marshmallows should NOT be pink. That is all.

51. I used to make my cousins call me Desdemona. For some reason, I thought it was the best name in the whole world.

52. I eat steak rare. But I hardly ever eat steak.

53. I will not eat lamb or most forms of pork. *shudder*

54. One of the sounds I find most annoying, is a car alarm. I want to scream and throw things when I hear one.

55. When my father beat me up, he slammed him into a wall by hitting me in the stomach with his briefcase. I had severely bruised ribs for several months and I am still suprised that he didn't break anything. He gave me a black eye too, but I found the briefcase thing the most ironic. He's a workaholic who hit me with his BREIFCASE. Harming me with his work. Symbolism anyone?

56. Once, when my father did something to piss me off, he bought me a very expensive piccolo to make up for it. It's gorgeous but I have still never played it because it makes me angry.

57. I don't know any of my grandparents. I wish I did. My father's died in a car wreck before I was born. Being orphaned at 16 could be some of the reason for my father being so cold and distant and determined to be the best business man he could be. My mother's parents wanted nothing to do with my father, so they never spoke to her while they were married. Once she left him, they made up, but since I am related to my father, apparently I am still taboo. I don't even know their NAMES.

58. I get really jealous sometimes when people talk about their families.

59. I think the fact that I basically have had no family, is why I love the fact that my house now has 5 people in it. But I still am a very 'alone' person and I do like the moments when I can be alone in the living room, walking around barely clothed, singing at the top of my lungs.

60. I used to work at a cafe called Vincenza's, but after almost being assaulted there, I left. Now I am unemployed and barely making it on the pittance the goverment gives me for living on my own at 16. I have lots of time on my hands on the weekends, hence the ability to have the house to myself occasionally.

61. I turn 17 on October 29th and I am kind of dreading it.

62. I secretly hope my father sends me a card. A gift. Calls me. Anything.

63. At this point, I don't even remember what it feels like to be sexually aroused. Was that TMI?

64. I think I might be depressed. Or something. I don't know. Or care.

65. I really used to love Wire in the Blood, Black Books and Father Ted. Though now, I don't really care if I see them or not. But British TV is still good.

66. I love Dylan Moran and Robson Greene and if either of them showed up on my doorstep tomorrow, I'd leave with them. I hope that doesn't make anyone sad. But it's true.

67. I also love Keira Knightly, and I would stalk her if I knew where she lived.

68. I love roses. I am a sucker for classics. Flowers make me sneeze, but for roses, I'll take the allergy problems anyday.

69. I used to be upbeat. I miss that girl.

70. I love Enya. A bath, candles, bubbles and Enya make a perfect night.

71. I have never been really religious, but Renee is getting me interested in Paganism. Either way, I believe in the paranormal, considering I believe my house is haunted.

72. Everything hurts right now.

73. When I was 8, I was molested by two of my older cousin's friends. I didn't even remember this until recently. I'd had it blocked out. And I haven't told anyone until now. So there it is. Obviously it didn't mess me up too much since I didn't remember it happening.

74. I found out about above after I dreamed about it and the memory came rushing back. I'm not that fussed, though it does bug me that they didn't get punished for it.

75. Or maybe I AM fussed, I'm just too far gone to realise it right now?

76. I really wish things would go back to normal. I wish Jamie or Renee would talk to me like we used to.

77. I am afraid that I messed things up for good. Which of course, makes it harder to care about fixing them.

78. I am a terrible dancer. Really really bad.

79. I am not a big fan of clothes. I know, I am a bit of a prude, but I dislike being clothed. Most of the time, if I am in my room, I am not wearing much at all. I am VERY glad that I WAS dressed the other day when Jamie barged in. What would Renee have thought THEN if she caught us together and I was wearing practically nothing.

80. I like sticking my tounge out at people.

81. I am supposed to start modelling in a few weeks time. The very thought makes me feel a bit fat, which is ridiculous.

82. I have NO idea what I want to do when I grow up and I envy people that have it all figured out.

83. I have never been to a funeral. I do know this makes me very very lucky.

84. Well, okay, I was there when my cousin Valerie buried her guniea pig, but that hardly counts.

85. I have incredibly pale irish skin, so I don't like going out if it's too sunny. I'd rather NOT get a sunburn or cancer thanks very much.

86. My girlfriend has the most amazing wardrobe on the face of this planet. And she looks amazing in it. But she's been looking a bit sick lately and it's my fault.

87. Sometimes I wish I was dead. No. Really.

88. I cut my arm the other day. Just a few times, but I'm sad to say that it helped and I can't stop thinking about doing it again. I am incredibly ashamed about it.

89. I really like babies, but I still never want to have any.

90. REAL white tigers (that are NOT inbred and sick and stuff) are my favourite animal ever.

91. This is followed closely by those lovely Japenese cranes. They're so graceful and beautiful.

92. To be truthful, I love most things Japanese and I want to go there someday. Women in kimonos knock me out with their extreme sexiness. once, Renee wore a kimono and I think I went to heaven for a little while.

93. I love the moon. I would live on it if I could, who cares if there's no gravity or...oxygen...

94. I would name my pet snake Herbert George after H.G. Wells. My Teddy Bear that I still sleep with also bears (haha) this name. Hg> Wells is the Shakespeare of Science Fiction. No, really.

95. Even though I hate smoking, I like the smell of flavoured pipe smoke. I would never DO it, but smelling it is nice.

96. I sleep all the time. Sleep or stare.

97. My favourite colour is purple followed by red followed by blue. Hence I like the combination thereof, and then the parts that make it up.

98. I wish I had a pool in the backyard instead of the little gardeny thing. Alas, it's not big enough. Nor do I have the money.

99. I studied in Vienna for a few months on an exchange. I loved it. Austria is lovely. And yes, I can speak German. Just not WELL.

100.I wish I was happy.



Back to...nothing.

~Deirdre

EDIT:

101. Goddammit, I have taken care of myself for so long. All I want is someone to take care of ME. Is that too much to ask?
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