You can all cook your own dinner and shove it up your arses.
Okay, that's a lie. I could never say it. That's why this is private. I'm SORRY I cling to people when I fear I'll lose them. Because the truth is...I am going to lose them. Each and every single one of them will grow old and die and I'll still be Deirdre. Little Dee. I'll always have my Boys but right now they don't even have each other...how can I expect they'll have me?
And I can't leave them now just because it will hurt later. Because Peter proved that the only thing that helps is being around the people I love. Even if I will lose them all, I still have them now.
But I almost lost Slink today. And she's one of the ones who should understand. But she doesn't. So I guess I'll go for a walk and stop crowding her. I'll lose myself in a book and a coffee in a cafe, and try to forget future that is imminent.
Oh god...I'm going to lose Renee and Liss and..oh GOD Pierre. And Evey. And Slink and Jude and Owen and oh god...everyone.
Oh..oh GOD. I am going to lose Peter.
What the HELL will I do when I lose Peter?!